250 – On Yours Truly Being Terrible At Dating

Once upon a time, I tried out my hand in online dating. I know I’m not exactly handsome myself but I thought: why not give it a shot? Maybe I have some redeeming qualities. But little did I know that it would be an eye-opening experience for me, one that would show me the sad realities of today’s romance and influence this eventual post.

I’m aware that a few of these situations could have somehow been saved – but as they say, hindsight is always perfect. We can’t turn back time anyway. A good number of you might say that it’s part of life, but I call bull on that. If there is someone destined for anyone as you claim, why is it easy for some but not for others? It may be easy for you, but have you considered putting yourself in the other person’s shoes?

I’ll let these stories from my Instagram tell you more. At the end of the day, some people just aren’t meant to win the game of love and I’m one of them.

True to form, I dropped all dating apps in early 2020 – before the pandemic struck. Now that I look back at these, I laugh at myself for even believing that this works. I definitely fell for a scam, but at least I picked up something from it.

Let me end this post with the infamous Australian bush ranger Ned Kelly’s last words (albeit disputed), before he was hanged: Ah well, I suppose it has come to this. Such is life.

Until the next post.


18 thoughts on “250 – On Yours Truly Being Terrible At Dating

    • You wouldn’t want to, encik. You wouldn’t want to.

      On the contrary, I wish I could travel back to your time – when dating and meeting people was easier and you’d really get a partner that will stay with you forever.

      If I may ask though, how long have you been married? From your past posts, I see that you have a loving wife and a daughter or two?

  1. Hi Monch,

    This post is an eye opener. I am not a fan of online dating or apps but I think with most apps and platforms, it’s easy to swipe and end relationships. Maybe the right person will come in a better time.

    Dating or not, you are a great person. Align yourself with focusing on you and the right person will come. That’s what happened to me 20 years ago. Huge hugs!

    By the way, I agree to what you’ve said here – a good number of you might say that it’s part of life, but I call bull on that. If there is someone destined for anyone as you claim, why is it easy for some but not for others? It may be easy for you, but have you considered putting yourself in the other person’s shoes?

    • Thank you and I appreciate your advice, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that having a romantic relationship will forever remain a pipe dream for me. I reach old age alone, I die alone, but to impart my wisdom to young ones with dismal love lives and steer them away from doing terrible things out of frustration gives me a certain kind of fulfillment.

      If anything, this entry is a retrospective that I should have posted long ago. If someone who’s having a terrible streak when it comes to dating sees this post, laughs at himself, and realizes that it’s the playing field that’s problematic and not himself — then I consider that mission accomplished. 🙂

  2. I’ve heard horror and successful stories about online dating.

    Aziz Ansari wrote a book called Modern Romance that offers a different perspective about dating in this social media world. Good luck with your journey to finding the one!

    • Haha, funny that you mentioned him – wasn’t he accused of sexual misconduct two years ago?

      Thanks, but I guess the romance phase of my life is clearly done – and I didn’t make it. I’ve moved on, regardless. Some people are meant for that, some people aren’t, but just like what good ol’ Frankie sang: that’s life.

      (Thank you for following the blog, by the way!) 😀

  3. I’ve never tried online dating apps but I’ve met people on other social apps (that are not specifically for dating) Some are genuinely nice people while some are just.. well cheaters! In my opinion, guys that come on too strong at the start are a red flag. Omegle is probably the worst place to meet someone decent to talk to 😐

    • Can’t blame them, though – it’s how they keep the momentum going; either they put their cards on the table ASAP or lose that opportunity. It worked for them a number of times, so chances are they’ll resort to the same tactic.

      Omegle has been like that for so long a time. I’ve read a number of stories about successful hookups from there, but nowadays – even that pool has dried up.

      • That’s a good point. You do need to show interest. Plus it shows confidence which is an attractive trait. But sometimes a tiny tinyyy bit of mystery helps with attraction. I find that when a guy is all over me, I’m not as attracted. But when a guy just gives me the right amount of interest, it keeps me wanting more of him. A bit of mystery builds excitement and attraction :)) Of course this only applies in the early stages of courtship. If a guy continues to have me guessing what his true intentions and feelings for me, then I’d probably think he’s just playing with my feelings and scared of commitments.

        The only thing I like about Omegle is remaining anonymous. If I find that we have mutual interest, then I keep in touch with them. Just gotta be careful with catfishes 😂

  4. Pingback: 274 – On A Belated 2020 Recap | The Monching's Guide

  5. Very interesting post. I admit I did not know whether to laugh or to cry when reading your post. Thank God, there were no dating apps when I was young. We did it the hard way : face-to-face. Either way, you know where you stand (or fall) there and then.

    • As I mentioned in a prior comment on this post (my reply to Encik Arthur / suituapui), your generation had it easier when it came to romance. But with COVID-19 looming, the prospect of face-to-face dating may not return soon.

      Nevertheless, I’m at the point in life where I’ve accepted that romance isn’t for me. Besides, a lot of people make it through life without a partner — heck, a former Philippine president who died recently (Aquino) was a bachelor all his life!

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