221 – On An Update And Fixing The Unfixable

What you cannot fix, you just leave to rot and degrade.

I haven’t written any new reviews or entries ever since I posted a personal blog last July – and a lot of things have happened since then. Let me share three of those.

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1. Losing my phone

This happened last July 5, after an entire day that turned out right. I attended an interview that morning somewhere along Timog Avenue which ended rather early. Even though I ended up not accepting the company’s job offer due to compensation issues, the process reaffirmed that I still had sufficient writing chops. In addition – I tried out a few restaurants, bought additional groceries, and even scored a pair of trainers from Marks & Spencer (the main image for this entry.)

However, a sudden downpour changed my fortunes for the worse. The unexpected rain caused heavy traffic, translating to long queues and delays in the shuttle I usually take going home. This forced me to take a jam-packed bus whilst carrying a lot of items — all in a flimsy tote bag. The trip was smooth despite the stop-and-go movement of vehicles…until another torrential downpour. Either I wait it out somewhere and get home late, or risk it and get my much-needed rest after a long day. I chose the second option.

I slipped and fell on flood waters while walking. Twice. Good thing my knees fell first and I avoided hitting my head on the muddy pavement. The slip also caused my things to spill out. Fortunately, I had an extra reusable bag that time as the tote bag I originally had was already ruined. I checked my things again if I lost or missed out other items. It was already too late when I realized that my phone was gone. I bought a new unit soon after, but that lost phone contained images for around 3-4 possible entries (including an entire review.)

2. Hitting a slump at work

I just reached the three-year mark at my current job, and this is the longest I have been in so far. I usually run out of steam after 2 years of doing something day in and day out — but my work right now enables me to use the skills I picked up in college and my previous stints. Just recently, however, the workload has intensified. The entire office was shaken up alongside the company’s move to a different direction.

A further disagreement with a colleague (who is now in a different department) compounded the already unstable atmosphere. It reached a point where I had to vent on Facebook, which reached the attention of my manager. Thankfully, she understood where I was coming from and advised me to take a break. It also helped that I was due to visit Singapore with my younger brother, which I will write about in the future.

The writing on the wall was clear amidst everything that has happened: it is time to move. I updated and polished my resume, sending it to a few companies with openings for marketing writers. I cannot apply to other companies in the same line of industry (English tutorial) due to a non-compete clause, so I’m aiming for a different field. In addition, I plan on taking up further studies – so better compensation is key. Eight companies have rejected my application as of this time, and I don’t know if I’ll ever find a new one. Honestly, doing only one thing day in and day out takes a toll on your sanity.

3. Almost reaching a depressive phase

The lack of a love life and work-related frustrations eventually brought me to the edge. Waking up to go to work was a chore that I had to drag myself. My naps while commuting were longer; I would only wake up at the final stop after closing my eyes as soon as the shuttle leaves. Even my weekends weren’t spared, as I had a hard time sleeping and would wake up in the middle of the night.

Work, however, was different. I was already preparing myself – physically, mentally, and emotionally – for a massive disagreement that will lead to my termination. Fortunately, good reason prevailed and the straw supposed to break the camel’s back never arrived. It also helped that I met up with a friend who experienced the same, as it allowed me to vent out my thoughts to some extent.

Reaching the dark place is no joke, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It paralyzes and numbs you, until you feel like lying down and rotting away. I managed to cope and move on, though the depressive episodes come at unlikely instances. (Looking at the bright side, I developed a love of black coffee – which I never enjoyed before.)

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There are a lot more things to fix on my end that I didn’t include here, but those will get sorted out one way or another. This entry serves to get me back on track with the regular blogging schedule after some months off the grid. Stay tuned for more new entries!

Until the next post.