200 – On Eight Realizations At 28

I know that this is not exactly the best way to celebrate 28 years of existence, much more kick off posting after a long absence here. But things happen, despite you wishing them not to. I’ve been out of the loop for a while mainly because a lot of things happened to me during the last months. Compound that with a lot of work-related stress and you get the picture.

Just like in Job 1:21, He gives things to and takes things from us in a similar manner. It makes me sad that the most unfortunate time coincided when I was nearing my birthday – which is the only thing I look forward to now. Long-time readers know that I prefer giving something of value, so I’ll take a break from entries talking about physical sustenance for now. Let me give some food for the heart and soul instead.


I realized that there are three types of people who enter our lives: those who enter for a reason, for a season, and for a lifetime. I mentioned this in a prior entry some years ago. People who enter for a reason do so to impart a lesson most of the time. The second kind arrives for a season to remind about the things that matter, making beautiful memories with us at the same time. Finding people who enter our lives for a lifetime is like searching for a needle in a haystack, but many say that it comes at the most unexpected instances.

I realized that all of us live on borrowed time and no one knows when it will all be over. All good things have an end for one reason or another. Heck, even my relationship was a trial period and God put a stop to that. He made me enjoy four years of being in a relationship, but she had to let go because of her dream. See how impermanent things are? I can’t blame God, however, as that’s the nature of fate itself; you’re on top of the world one day, you’re on rock bottom another day.  I don’t know why good things come to an end when you’re starting to enjoy life, but the memories will remain – impervious to the wear and tear of the world. Thus, you become thankful. Thankful for every single day that you get to wake up, and thankful for every opportunity to even walk among the living in this world.

I realized that people will belittle you no matter what talents or achievements you may possess. You can’t force people to like you, but it’s easier to tell them to fuck off the moment they start belittling you. Let’s face it: people only remember you when they need something. I’m not surprised that we have lone wolves today that prefer isolating themselves instead of blending in with the crowd. It takes an incredible amount of courage to do so. Besides, isn’t forcing people to treat two-faced liars with kindness a stupid idea in itself?

I realized that no matter how many times I try to put intelligent discussion forward, idiots – whether foreigners or locals – will still find a way to ruin everything. Knowledge has no more place in today’s world, and stupidity is much more celebrated. Bizarro World? No, that’s the reality we live in. The wise man has no friends because he reveals deception and points out veracity. He learns from the mistakes and triumphs he experienced and what others before him have written down.

I realized that people with lighter skin get more attention even though they create shit. I’m not like those popular foreign bloggers around and those Filipinos that try to emulate the destructive and hedonistic Western lifestyle. Nightly alcohol-laced visits to the club? Fashionable clothes and accessories? Oh, expect that shit to trend. But wait, you visit my blog because what I write about makes sense to you? Who the flying fuck are you trying to trick?

I realized that me living, growing old, and dying alone is a reality I have to accept as early as now. I don’t have a lot of friends and I’m too old to make new ones as I mentioned here previously, and even I have to let go of my partner so she can fulfill her dream.

I realized that I’m done, I’m washed up, and I’m burned out at life. But still, we continue to play the hand we’re dealt with. I don’t know until when, but still I keep on hammering on. Never mind that I’m the Nowhere Man now as long as I’m going my way. Never mind that I’m as brown as a Filipino could be. Most of our heroes and revolutionary figures had brown skin, yet stood up to colonists that had fairer skin tone. Never mind that some of those heroes were hated by their fellowmen, such as Antonio Luna.

With that said, I realize that I don’t want a memorial service the moment my dead body gets discovered. I would prefer to be buried or cremated by the end of the day. It’s saddening that people will say good things about you when you are gone, only to forget about you entirely the moment you are laid to rest.


AUTHOR’S NOTES:

1. The featured image for this entry is from this Michael Rooker interview by Hollywood Reporter. In case you wondered – yes, that’s Yondu Udonta; Ravager-turned-Guardian of the Galaxy, who made up for his past misdeeds with the ultimate act of sacrifice.

2. You might have noticed that I am now allowing Western followers here, as I have changed the Blog Policy section last October 18. Since I cannot comment on most of the About pages of these new followers, I’m taking the chance to thank them – in the four major Romance languages respectively. (Pardon me if the translation is screwed as I am using Google Translate.)

ITALIANO: Grazie mille per aver seguito The Monching’s Guide!
FRAAIS: Merci beaucuop d’avoir suivi The Monching’s Guide!
ESPAÑOL: Muchas gracis por seguir The Monching’s Guide!
PORTUGUÊSE: Muito obrigado por seguir o The Monching’s Guide!

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34 thoughts on “200 – On Eight Realizations At 28

  1. In Chinese, we call a person ‘凡人’ (farn yan) which means “mortal”, but it’s also a homonym for “person with problems”. I think that’s how life is meant to be – there will always be problems, but there are no permanent ups nor downs. Impermanence is one of the main facets in Buddhism; as everything declines and decays, we shouldn’t place emphasis on worldly pleasures, since we can’t take it to the next life anyway. What we leave behind are deeds and how other people remember us.

    I understand that after a certain age it’s hard to make new friends – I hardly make new ones and being a super introvert (I scored 93% on an introversion test! lol) in the field of journalism is extremely exhausting. You just feel so tired after work that you happily embrace solitude and some quiet at the end of the day. I’ve lost touch with a lot of friends over the years, but the few I keep are worth treasuring, which I believe is also the same in your case. I know it’s hard not to be cynical what with all the two-faced people out there (especially in our industry!) but I have discovered a few gems of friendship that I truly cherish, and I hope you will too.

    For what it’s worth, Happy Birthday!

    • Thank you very much! Although my birthday is actually a week from now (3 November), I appreciate the advanced greeting. 😀 You mentioned the Buddhist concept of impermanence, and it reminded me of the time when I was frustrated with my previous job. Years later, I’m in a better position – thanks to a mantra I kept to heart back then. “Where you are is not where you will be forever.”

      Regarding not making new friends at our age (I think we’re the same age now? Haha!), it seems that fate really conspires to bring back and reconnect old friends we haven’t met for a long time. This happened to me just last night. I bumped into an old friend, who happens to be a neighbor, last night while exiting the tube. Talked with him for a while to catch up on things, and that night ended up as one of the best ones I ever had in a while. For every loss, there’s always a sort of gain.

      On a side note, I hope that people who stop by here will leave comments just like yours – with a whole lot of substance. 🙂

      • Lol,no secret .I am.the traveling husband in my post is a real one.
        We met in high school and became sweethearts but then university brought us to separate ways but obviously as you can’t fight destiny we met again 10years later and we are together since.💁🏻‍♀️

  2. Belated/Advance Happy Birthday (kita ko kasi sa isang comment, Nov. 3 pa)! It may seem morbid for some, but brutal reflections usually speak more truth… Thoughts like these run through my head when I can’t sleep at night. Anyway, have a good one 🙂

  3. It’s refreshing to be able to see someone be unapologetically honest about what they feel. Especially that you’re birthday’s coming up. It takes a lot of courage to do that and I appreciate it because I really felt the sincerity! That’s really powerful because it makes the reader think more about their own life and their own experiences.

    What I find to be particularly striking is that part about accepting that it’s a possibility that you can end up alone. It’s scary, yes. But like you said, we live in a constant state of impermanence, and I believe with that said, anything is still possible. Keep your head high. It’s never too late!

    Oh and happy birthday!! 😊

    • Thank you!

      The last time that someone told me “you’ll find the right one for you someday” was around 2009. I found “the right one” five years later, only for our paths to diverge – leading to us falling out of love. Heartbreaking, yes – but as I mentioned above: people enter for a reason, a season, and a lifetime.

      I just hope the tide turns in my favor this time around.

  4. I relate so much to this as I’m someone who distanced from friends in the past 2 years. Having just reached 30 I’m having trouble with the ‘mid-life crisis’ and accepting my own identity. Though being Asian, the racism never bothered me in the white country i grew up in. Instead I’m more bothered by how fake everyone is around us!! Anyway great post!! I loved it.

    • Thank you! With everything that has happened, I pray that you find what you are looking for at the end of it all. 🙂

      Oh, I almost forgot: thank you for following The Monching’s Guide!

  5. Stand Still. 🙂
    Worst things happen to lead you in a better destination/path.
    Everything will be fine.
    I am not an active follower or what. I can feel you because that happened to me before.
    I know the feeling. We have same realizations in LIFE. promise.
    Maybe, it’s because we almost have the same age.

    I love how this post was written with brutal honesty. :p haha!

    Happy Birthday Blogger Monching! Keep going. 😀

    • Thank you for your comment! 🙂 Maybe it’s the challenge of turning 30 that gets to us; we’re not growing any younger, so there’s an additional burden of responsibility.

      Wishing you the same. 😀

  6. Hey!!! Happy belated birthday!

    “I realized that me living, growing old, and dying alone is a reality I have to accept as early as now.” — this resonated with me a lot. I know this statement is seemingly dark or morbid for some people, but it’s a possible reality for all of us — an idea that also come to me when I was around your age. Accepting this idea made me more grateful of the current relationships I have and to just live in the present, pay attention to it. While I am happily married now, I believe there’s no such thing as assurance. No one knows what’ll happen tomorrow, so I’ll just enjoy everything while it lasts.

    • Thank you for the greeting, still! ‘Tis much appreciated. 🙂

      But you know, you are leagues luckier than me. You’re settled down in your mid-30s. What I mean is that you have a loving husband to go home to every night, and a partner who you can tell your problems and frustrations to.

      Everyone needs someone to love and someone who will love them in return; that’s a fact of life. Hedonistic pursuits will only lead to an “edge-of-the-cliff” scenario. To be honest, one of my dreams was to have a partner I go home to every night and live the rest of my days with. Screw material things – I can buy them eventually. But meaningful experiences? No amount of money can equal them.

      I’ve stopped asking for superficial things growing up. But is something like looking for a lifelong partner too much to ask? I don’t know. I can’t say. Maybe I will find her, and be a family man in the end. Maybe I’ll lose again, and finally call it quits.

      • Yes, I’m very grateful. This post just really brought me back. I think I was 26 when my first bf and I broke up. That relationship lasted 4+ years. I remember how I was back then.

        It’s late but I wish you the best for your birthday.

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