74 – On Failures And Running Away

Post-graduation ball, circa 2008.

I’ve been pondering about this for some time now. What if CJ and I left everything behind, cut all ties to other people save our family and close friends, went somewhere far, and started all over again with our lives? Every bad thing, every negative experience, and every bullshit that has happened in the past – all that will no longer matter when we start from square one. You might ask me what made me contemplate on this one, and here’s my answer.

This stems from the fact that aside from one person I’ve known ever since 2008, no one from my college has recognized me outside of the online sphere – despite being contacts on Facebook from way back. I can’t blame ’em entirely, though; let’s just say that I’m not exactly a memorable person. I’ve come to terms with it, as proven by the fact that I’ve become distant from a lot of people I’ve met in this lifetime.

But let’s look at it from a different perspective. The temptation to turn your back, burn all bridges, and run away is always present. There’s also a choice to stay and weather the storm, which is more difficult than the first one. A hearty chat with CJ made me realize these two things: college isn’t a place to find people that will have a place in your heart, and people who do have a spot will not necessarily come from your alma mater.

Surprisingly, this is how we ended the conversation. If in case I happened to hit a major milestone in life, some people will wonder why I “left them out”. If they happen to ask me why I did, here’s my answer; evil as it may sound, but it’s the truth of the matter. I’m sorry if I can’t accommodate you in my successes and achievements. Where were you when I struggled and failed multiple times?

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